Divorce
Internal and external devastation, and then, more devastation, even if you wanted out of the marriage, even if you imagined not being with your ex for a long time. The only people who might feel relief entirely are those without children, but even then, that’s rare. If there are children involved, expect more devastation. You must remember that you won’t always feel like you do now. Maybe you didn’t even begin to feel anything until years after the divorce. In the beginning, people are often in survival mode, finding a new home, working out custody arrangements, focusing on money issues, finding jobs or going back to full time work, an endless basket of changes. Many have described divorce as a roller coaster ride, sometimes feeling free to live life as you want, full of hope and possibilities, only to crash the next day or the next hour, filled with fear, dread and loss. And remember, one loss tends to drudge up all previous losses. Often the stress is too much and depression makes it hard to function, or you may look to alcohol, drugs, food, work, sex, shopping, or anything else to the extreme, that can help you regulate your intense emotions. The trouble is, the above coping mechanisms are short lived and they make matters worse over time.
Very often, people find that they never anticipated how devastating divorce would be to themselves or their children. People have likened the level of stress to being in a car crash every day for a year. The people going through divorce know that divorce with children is never quite over, it keeps on going through many stages, changes and transitions. Here is what you need to remember while in the storm of conflicting emotions, healing is rarely ever a linear process, feelings get kicked up when the ex moves on, when kids are away, especially if it’s a holiday, if they are with a parent who you don’t respect, at nighttime, when it’s time to kiss your children good-night, during special occasions like graduation when your ex and new family are there as well, when the kids have a fantastic time with the other parent and you missed out on it, and even though you try to be highly evolved for the sake of your children, fear about your children wanting to stay with the other parent for good.
If you are still drowning in the emotions, whether sadness, anger, fear, or anxiety are taking over, you owe it to yourself and your children to get the help that you need. How tragic for children to feel overwhelmed with their own feelings and not be able to turn to their parents who are unable to help because of being overwhelmed themselves. Your children need you to be okay so that you can help them. Learn what you can do to tolerate your feelings, to mourn the loss, to stop from escalating battles, which place your children between their warring parents, pulling them apart and placing them at risk for many destructive behaviors such as poor grades, drinking, drugs, cutting, overeating, binging/purging, sexual promiscuity, isolation, etc. You deserve to be okay, but if that’s not convincing, then help yourself for your children.